seriously, dad....

i was invited by three of my frnds to their houses, and we were gonna be a big gang of 20 or so, house-hopping on sunday. all i needed was permission. hmm... permission... that is the tough part.

wel, i asked, n my dad frowned. "where did u get this habit from, oor-suthifying n all?"

"dad, it is just to my frnd's house, i've been invited for lunch, and so have others. y cant i go, it's a sunday !"

"fine, watevr. u ppl dont study at all. do everything else. i should have put u in satyabama hostel. then we'll see wat u could have done."

well, i got the yes i needed to hear. so i just walked away from there before i screamed and he changed his mind.

i worked to get into this coll... n no matter how much my brother teases me, i dint get in by luck. ye, i've been rotting after i came here, mostly of my own doing, coz everybody else seems to b doing fine. i study alright, i just dont study like them. n i have no idea how to write an exam properly. mayb they mastered both these skills, n this has taken them a long way. me, i've had my tryst with arrears, n hopefully it wont aggravate this sem. (results awaited!) dad thought i was cool with where i am right now. n i thought he was understanding, cheering me on to the next hurdle. problem was, we were both wrong about each other.

but imprisoning me in the dungeons of satyabama, that's a death warrant. their style of disciplining is just to please the parents... aint gonna work with me. u wanna discipline me your way, i'll find another problem for u to fix.

he's got hang-ups. he stereotypes ppl by their outward action, appearance. he thinks i'll b a bad student if i go out to eat, go to movies, or jus anywhere with friends. wherever i need to go, "u jus tell me, i'll take u there". n recently my bro has picked up this line from dad, gives me the same crap when we are in an argument. which only makes me ask him to shut up (somethin i've never said all these years, n my dad wonders if im getting out of control... relax dad, im jus spkin my mind, something i should hav done many many yrs ago jus to clip off this chauvinism that runs in the family)

recently, it was saarang he banned me from attending. well, i've got used to it. 4 years. there is a good reason. it is freakin crowded. every loser in the city drags his ass there. leave alone the good crowd, my friends, and the cute-lookin ones. there is a whole bunch of jerks u'd wish u dint meet. i'd know, coz when i was in school, i knew some of the crowd that went there...drunk. and another thing abt the crowd. i think i border on wat u call agoraphobia, and im definitly not a crowd-lover. mayb that s y i dint persist (the real reason could b that my dad said "odhai vaanguve!!!" in such an intimidating way, i dint know wat to do except run out of his sight).

nowhere to go. now, where to go ?