The one for me

There lives a man for me
A man, I'm sure, not a woman.

The one for me, my one and only
The stars have aligned to unite our paths.

But will he love me?
Doesn't matter. As long as his parents like me.

Is there a place for me in his heart?
Doesn't matter. There is a place for me in his house.

Will he let me wear black?
Doesn't matter. It's ominous. (Lace excluded.)

Will he be a good person?
Doesn't matter. His parents are the best people in the world, just like mine.

Will he charm me with his humour?
Doesn't matter. He will be taller than me.

Will he respect me and my ideas?
Doesn't matter. He will be Stanford educated.

Will he treat me as an equal?
He better. I'm giving him a hundred kilograms of gold.

Will he headbang with me?
Doesn't matter. He can afford the speakers.

Will no mean no?
Like it matters. Ha!

Will I serve him with love?
Doesn't matter. I will serve him dinner every night.

Will he let me work?
Of course. As long as I am the wife in this marriage.

Will he make my parents happy?
Of course. What kind of question is this?

Will he make me happy?
Of course. Refer star alignment.

Will he make the whole world proud?
Of course. Refer Stanford education, speaker affordability.

Will our children be good people?
Of course. Refer lineage of best people.

Will I forget everything else that happened?
Of cou... Wait... nobody said anything about...

Will I snap and lose my bearings?
Listen... there are duties. As a wife, as a daughter-in-law.

Will I get to speak my mind?
Of course. As long as nobody is offended.

Will I think and act different from others?
Now... why not just be normal for once, like everybody else?

Ok. Come, let's get married.